When I was a kid, we used to go to Estas Park every fall. There is a river that runs though town and the sidewalk curves around the edge of the river and at one point the rocks slope down from the walk to the edge of the river that rages and crashes against the rocks. Dad used to stand us on the edge and hold our hands and we would lean out over the chasm. Abby was always the brave one and she'd lean the farthest, laughing. When it got to my turn, I'd shake and beg him not to lean me too far over the chasm and I'd chicken out before I could get too far. But I can imagine what it would have felt like, the cold air surrounding me, the exhilarating feeling of being completely suspended over an angry river. In the back of my mind, I knew he'd never drop me. But, then again, what if he did? That’s the problem with trust, isn’t it? That you’re too afraid that your trust will be misplaced and the object of your trust will fail you. And then where would you be? Sometimes I feel like that way about God, like if I trust him with the big things, it's possible he'll fail. I'm afraid of what will happen if I let him take over. It's a scary feeling, handing it over and there have been several times I've backed out. But I can imagine what it would feel like. Carefree and reliant on someone who I know has it all together. In the back of my mind, I know he won't fail me. But, then again, what if he does? And if I let go of these chains now, will I float away? Can I just hold on? It feels like chains, the part of me that won't let go. We learn though, don't we. Every day we have this choice to trust God. Because in the end, no one can control what happens. So what use is it worrying and trying to control circumstances. What does it help?
I trust you. That's what I keep having to tell God, more to convince myself than him. I trust you. I trust you. I trust you. And he doesn't fail. If I can get the courage enough to lean over the chasm of life and trust that my God's got me perfectly save in his hands, he never, ever fails.
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About Me!Hannah writes to satisfy her imagination. She's written six books so far--five of which need to be rewritten--and is working on a seventh. She ranges through a variety of genres, but favors contemporary YA, fixing broken characters. She wants to use her writing to change people and bring hope. She's currently going to college for Nursing and that takes up most of her writing time. She's a rather stereotypical writer, talking to imaginary friends, eavesdropping on people at the store, secretly being nosy, stashing herself away in her room with a paper and pen and chocolate and her teddy bear. She loves Jesus, the way the morning smells, her family of seven (four siblings), old movies, fairy tales, candles at night and helping people. She writes on another blog at nerdywriter.blogspot.com to hopefully build her chances of publication. My Author Site:Archives
December 2016
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