Over 2014, I've discovered many things about myself. Fears. Strengths. Milestones in my life. Etc. I've been planning to post this on the last of 2014 for almost three weeks. So let's see how it goes! Okay, I'm a special case when it comes to fear. Heights have no affect on me, I love the dark, being alone recharges me, storms relax me. Mice...well...yeah, I guess they're scary. Look at his face. Doesn't he look devilish? Like he's just relishing the opportunity to give me a disease. But I'm scared of... 1) People. Under certain circumstances, of course. For instance asking people personal questions, strange questions, or really any question at all that's not normal. (ex. I was scared to death to ask my uncle for an interview. Anyone remember the Life Skills assignment for interviewing four people?) I can talk to friends though, easily without feeling uncomfortable. 2) Babysitting. Children have energy. Maybe five times as much energy as me. And I'm not too good at multitasking. Hyper children running in all different directions wanting me to play games that require excessive amounts of energy that I don't possess at ten o' clock at night. That doesn't sound like a nightmare to you? Comes as a problem when I need money.... 3) Dogs. That I don't even need to explain... 4) Rebellious characters. Which I've had a lot of experience with lately....unfortunately. I'm working on these fears. :) Life skills has helped with that first one. And guess what, I actually managed to keep the house balanced when my mom was gone for a week! Granted, I had a major amount of help from my siblings and dad, but normally I would have gone insane. I'm crediting that fact, to God. The fact that I survived, not that I normally would have gone insane. Discoveries and milestones and the like: I've discovered that I'm a major introvert. I've bridged that gap between me and my characters. They talk to me...for the most part. *sideways glare at Ray* I love science. I possibly want to be a nurse someday because of this fact. Although, I'm kind of squeamish, I've found out. When somebody else claims to have the stomach bug, I kind of make myself feel nauseous or something like that. I'm not sure. I've begun to narrow down what I want to be in the future. It's a little complicated, so bear with me. For the first few years of my single life and quite possibly the first few of married life, I want to do missions. I would love to aid with people trapped in human trafficking. Possibly as a nurse. Depends on where God leads me. Once I have kids, I'll probably move back to the states. I love Colorado, so probably back here. Maybe I'll go on occasional missions trips with my family, but I'll probably mostly settle down. Maybe work on my writing and stuff like that. I got my braces off this year. I got "published" for the first time by writing an endorsement statement for Bryan Davis's The Seventh Door. Only 24 words, actually. But, hey! It's a start. I was a VBS worship leader for the first time and brought a couple of kids to Christ which was an awesome experience.
I shot a gun for the first time. I started a new story that I still can't think of a name for....Any ideas? Anyone? I'll do a post on it sooner or later. Maybe tomorrow. It's basically the longest book I've ever written at 130 pages and 34,889 words. I've found my new motto verse: Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord. ~Psalm 102: 18 Okay, and I'm going brain dead, on the phone with Rachel who is also going brain dead. It's about 40 minutes away from new year. I hope you all had an amazing 2014 and here's to a better 2015! What did you accomplish this year? Happy New Year!!!!!
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Okay, I know that's a strange title and I know that they have nothing to do with each other, but I had two things to post today, for once!
I had the strangest revelation last night. And I'm sure you're all sick to death of me talking about my stubborn characters, but too bad, because here you go again:) I didn't post this idea on here because I wasn't 100% sure about it. Maybe a month and a half ago, I had a dream. Ray was sitting next to a hospital bed. In the bed was a girl. She had long, curly, golden brown hair and a southern accent. Her name was Hieley (like hi-lee) and she was dying. Not sure what of yet. So, yesterday, I experimentally stuck her into a scene with Ray, and what do you know?! He talked. He actually, legitimately told her everything that happened. So, I figured, if I can get him to talk to her, maybe I can squeeze my next plot point out of him. So, I stuck her in a "room" with him and had her ask him questions. (she's already naturally nosy. Perfect!) It's starting to work! Hallelujah. I haven't gotten all that far, actually. Not far enough to know what happens next, but I'm getting there. I'm close. So close. Why didn't I try this sooner? If you're wondering about the 'eyes' part of the title, here's what's happening. I'm in Urgent Care, soon to be headed to the ER. This morning, I woke up and my whole right eye was blurry and terribly bloodshot. I don't generally get bloodshot eyes, and this was the whole thing. I could only see shapes and colors and the like. No details. There was also a purple splotch in the corner that wouldn't go away. You know when you look at a light to long and it kind of get's imprinted in your eye? I could put the whole scientific process to as why it does that, but I'm sort of brain dead, so I won't. To add on top of that, it hurt. Whenever I looked up down, side to side, I got a headache behind my eye. Pleasant, right? So, after it didn't go away, we headed to the Urgent-Care-Children's-Hospital-doctor's-office thing. The doctor looked at it and said that I should go immediately to a ophthalmologist in Memorial Hospital. It's nine o' clock. I'm sick. And I'm super tired. So if it feels like I'm rambling, I am, and it's because I'm tired. Brain dead. Call it whatever you like. Okay. I've said enough. Just pray that it's nothing serious, please. I hate being sick. (duh!) I mean who doesn't? I think it's the flu, but I'm not sure. I was hallucinating half the night about yellow and red ovular burial coffins and hiding underground away from some sort of evil. I know. It was weird. Got up super early, because I couldn't sleep. My skin and my bones hurt. I've got a headache/cold. I keep getting cold flashes, but when I put a sweater on or a blanket or something, I have a heat flashes. I keep trying to tell myself that there are people that are sicker than me. Jacob W, for example. My sister's started this prayer chain thing. Take this picture and post it on Google+, your blog, Facebook, whatever, and remember to pray for him. You can even put it as your screensaver. Here are all the details on Emma's blog. Here's the link to his parent's blog, and his sister's blog. Keep praying! Today I went to see The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies. And I cried. Those who know me know that I never cry for movies. Never. This was the first time. It was a really good movie. I can see where many of the critics got their criticism, though. For example, they said that Bilbo really didn't do anything. And while, he did do a couple of important things, he wasn't the main focus. I mean, the whole thing is about a war. How much can a single person do in a war? Also, someone observed that it was just an endless slaughter. Someone fighting, getting knocked down, almost getting killed, then getting saved because someone came up behind them and killed their attacker. Yeah, that happened at least five to seven times, but somehow they made it mostly original almost every time. All the main-ish characters who died (don't worry. I'm not giving away any spoilers:) were all killed in the same way, though. They did a good job with the character development for the most part. The actors and actresses did a great job with conveying natural, believable emotions. Richard Armitage did a great job making Thorin Oakenshield believably going mad with greed. Anyone love the golden floor in the hall under the mountain? Remember the attempt to kill Smaug with the gold in The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. The connection was neat to see. Martin Freeman had such a funny quirk playing Bilbo and I loved his facial expressions. I loved Bard's relationship with his family. His love for his children. And I con't care if it wasn't in the book, I loved the romance between Tauriel and Kili. Tauriel: If this is love, I don't want it. Take it away, please! Why does it hurt so much? Anyone love that line? Okay, I've ranted enough. This is my opinion on the movie:) For all you writers out there, the Christmas story has an amazing plot. I mean, God really knows what he's doing. We saw a video at our Christmas Eve service yesterday that opened my eyes to that fact. Think about it. A powerful, loving king had perfect fellowship with mankind, but through an offense, a purposeful violation of a single law, the fellowship was shattered, never to be joined again, but through reconciliation that man couldn't provide. Over the course of thousands of years, people prophesied that a messiah would come. Someone to bridge that rift opened by the human race. And finally it happened, but in a way nobody imagined. In a tiny town, a baby was born. He didn't have a room, midwife or even a crib to be born into, but a barn, in the midst of animals, in a feeding trough, no less. And thus the prophesied savior was born, as a poor, homeless child, not as the powerful, dominating king everyone had imagined. I've had a great two days for Christmas! Christmas Eve, we opened stockings and went to my dad's parent's house to celebrate. Today, we waited for my dad to call, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" up the stairs, came downstairs, sang a couple of songs, opened gifts, watched a new Tim Hawkins movie I got and had Mom's side of the family over at our place. Between gifts (jewelry, movies, girly, pampery things (such as body wash, nail polish, lotion, hand scrub, makeup, etc.), writerly things, books, clothes, (my new favorite outfit, displayed to the right) yummy candy) and family, I've had an amazing Christmas. I rip off the wrapping and tear through the box, till I end up with 45 new pairs of socks. This peppermint winter is so sugar sweet. I don't need to taste to believe. What's December without Christmas Eve? Haha! I only got three pairs of socks:) And I have this little idiosyncrasy that drives everyone else crazy on Christmas. I can't bear to rip packages. I always have to try to disconnect the tape from the paper without damaging anything. Therefore, it takes forever for me to open presents. It's really annoying when we're opening group presents. You know, the ones that have all the same thing, so you have to open them all at the same time.
And what's with the lack of snow? I wanted to wear my new writer's sweater over my new writer's shirt with my new PJ pants, but it was too warm and I kept overheating. Isn't Christmas supposed to have snow? "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas...." "Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!" "Baby it's cold outside..." "Walking in a winter wonderland..." "Dashing through the snow..." Hello, anyone? Well, hope you all had a good Christmas! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. An old movie, cookies and family. What could be better;)? Tonight we invited over my dad's parents and watched 'It's a Wonderful Life.' For you who don't know, it's the life story of a man named George. Along the road he got $8000 into debt and was going to go to jail for it. He goes out into the night on Christmas Eve and figures that if he killed himself, the money for the life insurance would pay back all the money he owed. But just as he's about to commit suicide, his guardian angel, Clarence, comes and saves him. In an attempt to convince him that his life matters, he shows him how life would be without him. How he impacts the lives of others. And it got me thinking. What would life be without me? I'd like to have a Clarence to show me how I've impacted others. I'd hope there'd be a lot of people I've changed for the better. Think back over your life and imagine yourself away. How much of a difference have you made? And if you can't see all that much that you've changed, what can you do to make a difference? Change at least one person for the better. Maybe you've impacted others more than you know. It was just an interesting thought. Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he? This post seems daunting for some reason, so pardon it if I seem to ramble a bit. I'm kind of tired. What's new with that, though, right? Okay, so here's my humble attempt to sum up what has happened between the last time I posted and today. First off, my characters still won't budge. They're still in the same dull place they were when I wrote the last post. Urg. Aggravating people. Secondly, Wednesday afternoon, Cameo and Ivy came over for a sleepover. We had loads of fun, painting nails, doing facial masks, watching Disney movies and old 50's movies, staying up until two in the morning talking...hehehe...sorry Mom and Dad :) Thursday evening, we drove up the mountain with our cousins Rachel, Lydia, Abigail, Hannah and Caitlin and listened to Christmas music--Amy Grant, Straight No Chaser and the like. Since the last Summer ball, I'd been looking forward to the Christmas Ball. We danced the night away. Virginia Reel, Cotton-Eyed Joe, Scottish Shotish (is that how you spell it?), the circle Shotish, forgot the name to that Polka-like one, but it was my favorite even though I was doing the man's part, the Macarana, etc. I got to see some friends I haven't seen in a long time. Rachel, Lydia and Abigail were going to spend the night, but Rachel was feeling a bit sick so she had to go home. :'( We missed you. Friday we watched the Voice finale. I was so mad that Damien didn't win. He got fourth place, people. Fourth! He deserved to win! Me and Emma and Abby are deciding that we're suing America for voting him into fourth. Here's one of his songs. He's amazing! Fortunately, the person we liked second won. A country singer named Craig Wayne Boyd. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, don't worry. It's a singing show we like to watch:)
Saturday, nothing! Ah, glorious, luxurious nothing! Read books--a Hansel and Gretel retelling that was....disturbing. Who likes the story anyway? I mean it's about a witch who eats children. Hello, anyone? Something wrong about that? Watched Mom's Night Out again, because we were in that sort of mood. :) Today, we went to church and saw a cool Charles Spurgeon sermon excerpt about the meaning of Immanuel. I posted the video below. Gave me chills. Of course, everything gives me chills...I walked around the park with Rachel, Lydia and Emma and we laughed, pretended we didn't know each other and played on the playground swings and rolled down the humongous hills in Cottonwood Park. Acted immature, basically. :) And we went to the Broadmore to see the lights. They were beautiful! Call me a romantic sap, but there is going to be a love story taking place there sometime in the future. What a charming, romantic place! All dark, with the lighted trees surrounding a partially frozen lake where hundreds of geese are resting. A bridge spanning it, decked in wreathes and bows. Fires border the lake, every here and there, warm in the chilly night. Oh, and Nana and Papa gave us our Christmas gift today. They gave us one ounce of silver and gave us the decision. Trade the silver in to them for what it is worth now ($16.06) or wait and see if the price goes up. I chose to keep mine and wait. I'm kind of excited about doing this:) Watching to see if my "investment" is making any money. There's my sum-up. Hope I didn't bore you. ;) This may come as a shocker to those who think I'm a maniacal, morbid writer :), but I have trouble with writing depression. My character is just way to happy to be depressed. (Like I've said, they never listen. Exhibit 1029...) How do you manage to write depression without actually having ever been depressed? The thing is, he's not happy, he's just not hopeless enough. I mean, I've been sad or disappointed at times, but never hopeless. And to add on to the inexperience, it's a guy. Do men experience depression differently than women? I've described a heavy heart (don't worry, I'm taking out cliches later;), perpetual lump in his throat and wishing he had succeeded in his suicide attempt. I've attempted to add all the things I feel when I'm having a bad day (constantly feeling like bursting into tears, heavy feeling in my chest, etc) only magnified, but that raises the question again. Do guys experience depression differently than girls? There was one scene were I felt I succeeded, but the whole time he was monologuing (apparently this isn't a word, but you know what I mean, right?). You can't build a book off of monologue. And, another thing, when you're upset about something, you go over it in your head. Over and over and over. How do I do that in a story without making it boring? He's already gone over it several times and it's getting a little redundant. Anyone have any tips? I don't know if any guys are on here who read this, but if there are could you describe what it feels like when you're having a bad day, or are upset about anything? Girls too. Anything helps. If that's too awkward, don't bother. I'm open to anything!
The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. When we went to a church in Longmont yesterday, the visiting pastor said something that caught my attention, concerning the verse above. Christians often take this verse in the wrong context. They think that God is telling them to take God's gift, give up everything and work to buy that gift. But instead, this what this pastor thought Jesus meant. God is the man who found the treasure. What does that make us, then? How do we fit into this equation? We're the treasure. When God found us, he was so overjoyed that he gave all he had to buy us and to save us. Why were we hidden in the first place? Why would someone throw away treasure? Maybe that treasure didn't look like a treasure. Maybe it was maimed or tarnished. Maybe we were too buried in sin, our past, ourselves. But Jesus came and saw the potential in our potential and paid his only son to obtain...us. His treasure.
Today we drove 2 hours to Longmont to watch a book launch for the company Mom works for called Good Catch. She wanted to see how a book launch was done, even though it wasn't her book. We took the opportunity to see some friends that we haven't seen in years. We talked, ate good food, listened to music, watched music videos and made cool shirts. (below) So now I'm super tired, chatting with a friend on the phone, trying to come up with something intelligent to say. I'll try again tomorrow. 63. Seeing old friends after years of separation "You're crazy. How do you do that?" I get this a lot after I tell people that I get up at five or five-thirty-ish. You definitly have to have motiviation. And disipline helps. Maybe I can show you what motivates me.
Imagine this. You wake up. It's still dark. All you can hear is the steady breathing of your siblings, softly permeating the still air. You sit down in complete darkness, surrounded by only your thoughts. In the quiet you can properly hear your character's voices, uninterrupted by real voices and the bustling of life. And as the morning goes on, the sky begins to grey and then brighten, shining orange and pink light through the windows, bathing you in sunrise. And you continue on your story, conversing with your characters, and writing down everything they say. Introverted as I am, spending time with people created by me refreshes me and sets me up for the day. Two hours of pure heaven. Watching movies with my family is nearly impossible. At the moment I'm trying to watch Prince of Egypt with my siblings. Emma is singing. Ella and Liam are yelling at her to stop. Throughout this whole movie Ella and Liam are asking endless questions. Who is that? What is he doing? Why is he doing that? Why is the camel running? Why is the girl sleeping? Why is there fire? Why are they putting blood on their door? Is the thing still bleeding? Why is it dark? Are those the bad guys? Meanwhile I've got to get up and fast forward scary scenes. And endure sarcastic comments and try to pacify the little kids who are personally offended by the words. I've accepted the fact that I can't properly watch a movie with my siblings. Mostly it's Ella and Liam who are the offenders, but occasionally Emma and Abby participate.
Comment if movies are ever like this in your house. Any added complications? In today's culture it's not very often that you find people who are good friends me and my sisters are. We can laugh. We can talk about anything. We dance. We watch movies together. I know what they love and what they hate. I know all their quirks. They know how to get under my skin and I know how to get under theirs. We can go off on random bunny trails in conversation, and no one will think any less of it. We can be our weird, goofy selves without worrying what the other will think, because we know everything about them. Seen every side of them. It's truly a blessing to be so close. 42. A vibrant mutual love with my family I'm following up on a previous post which you can see here.
Ray finally started to cooperate! Relief! I don't know what caused his change of heart, but he finally gave in. I've been pestering him for a whole week and he just gave in this morning at around 6:30. This is just my little victory note, shouting to the world that I'm back in charge of my story! Today, I was in the orthodontist office when a little girl came in. There was something about her that intrigued me. She was maybe nine or ten. Had thick, long, wavy-ish dark hair in a braid that she draped over her shoulder. She wasn't wearing anything fancy, baggy jeans and a sweater and winter boots, the kind that actually work, not the kind with fur or any other embellishment. She had a thin face, slightly pale. She was friendly. I could tell that just from the way she treated her mom and the nurses. She smiled a lot. Maybe it was the way she seemed to have some sort of contained energy in her. Like she was just itching to go out and make the most of this beautiful world. Maybe it was that I could sense a childlike innocence in her, untainted by the filth of this world. How do you put feelings like this onto paper? It's a question that bothers writers. Some things can't be put into words. Some things can't even be put into a comprehensible thought. I haven't nearly captured her enough. This little girl that I never talked to, just saw at a distance for a couple of minutes at an orthodontist appointment. And I'm still left wondering, what about her was so captivating?
And when my grandma's bone fide wood-handled pressure cooker from the fifties, full of potatoes, bobbles the steam all dancey over kitchen windows come noon, I hold the pen and I write it down clear: So, I've been attempting it, to see the little things that are worth being thankful for in this life. Maybe I can get to one thousand things. As of today, I've got eighteen. Just 982 to go. I'm definitely not as eloquent as she is, but I want to try. 4. Mussed up hair on toddler heads Being thankful gives you joy. Turns your mind from things you don't have to all the things you have to be thankful. 14. Dancing during dinner chores Doing this little activity helps you notice all those little things in life that you may have been to busy to notice before. The little toothless grin your little sister gives you. The friendly teasing from a sibling. The beautiful tang of strawberries on a picnic. Try to slow down and notice all those little charms God placed in the world. They're meant to be noticed only when you decide to slow down and concentrate. They're meant to be relished in a quiet moment. To give you a little spark of joy in a thing you may have seen every day, but never realized it's beauty.
I am with you. I will carry you through it all. I won't leave you. I will catch you, when you feel like letting go, because you're not, you're not alone. And I will be your hope when you feel like it's over. And I will pick you up when your whole world shatters. And when you're finally in my arms, look up and see love has a face. I suppose it's my fault for dreaming up a stubborn character. And I know I'm constantly complaining about Ray. But he's a pain in the neck. Seriously. I've decided that it's time for him to tell someone a secret he's been keeping, but he won't say a word and refuses to open his mouth. It's aggravating. Tonight, I'm brainstorming ways to get him to spill the beans...Any ideas anyone? It's the one about him being responsible for someone's death. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, comment and I'll explain tomorrow. I don't have the time to explain here, as I'm supposed to be going to bed at the moment....
The Worthey family is going through a hard season right now with Jacob's cancer, but something else has happened to add on top of that. A member of their family has Mono, now, which is a disease that can be very serious to someone with no immune system. And, oftentimes, when one family member has it, the rest of the family has it. And since Jacob has no immune system due to the chemotherapy, it could be serious. Please be praying constantly for them.
For more details, here's Hannah Worthey's post on this: Mono and...Ugh Life |
About Me!Hannah writes to satisfy her imagination. She's written six books so far--five of which need to be rewritten--and is working on a seventh. She ranges through a variety of genres, but favors contemporary YA, fixing broken characters. She wants to use her writing to change people and bring hope. She's currently going to college for Nursing and that takes up most of her writing time. She's a rather stereotypical writer, talking to imaginary friends, eavesdropping on people at the store, secretly being nosy, stashing herself away in her room with a paper and pen and chocolate and her teddy bear. She loves Jesus, the way the morning smells, her family of seven (four siblings), old movies, fairy tales, candles at night and helping people. She writes on another blog at nerdywriter.blogspot.com to hopefully build her chances of publication. My Author Site:Archives
December 2016
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