I'm finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there...I'll looking past the shadows of my mind into the truth and I'm trying to identify the voices in my head. God which one's you? Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness. I could have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life. We fall asleep only in hopes of dreaming that everything will be like it was before. But nights like this, it seems, are slowly fleeting. They disappear as reality comes crashing to the floor. I close my eyes and go back in time. I see you smiling. You're so alive. We were so young. We had no fear. We were so young. We had just begun....And life was just happening. I wouldn't trade it for anything. My souvenirs. If shame had a face, I think it would kinda look like mine. If it had a home it would be my eyes. A long day alone. Emptiness is so real. Never having peace of mind. Running from what I can't see... Familiar shadows closing in. Suffocating fear descends. I never wanted you to see the darkest part of me. I knew you'd run away...So afraid to be alone. I tried to let you go. Still I find you lost inside the darkest part of me. Who is there at the end of lonesome roads? All of us hope there's a home. I'm realizing this is making my book sound super depressing so... Take my hand. I’ll teach you to dance. I’ll spin you around, won’t let you fall down. Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet. Give it a try. It’ll be alright…Now’s our moment. Take it in, feel it all and hold it. Eyes on you, eyes on me. We’re doing this right…This is a feeling I’ve never felt but, it’s all about us.
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Mom, where do I even start? You are the best mom I could ever ask for. And as cliche as it sounds, it's true. I love the way you throw your head back and laugh when something strikes you as funny and how you can juggle all five of us along with schooling us and spending time with each of us individually. I've heard many people exclaim that you're a wonder woman and it's true. I don't know where we'd be without you. And especially thanks for all you've done with helping arrange my college stuff, too. I'm who I am today because of you. I would like to be even half the mom you are when I have my own family. You are a rock to all of us. Thanks especially for all the faith advice you and Dad have been giving me. You've really helped me in my journey. You're beautiful, talented, amazing and loveable among a bunch of other traits. I love you so much. Happy belated Mother's Day!
I feel prepared...mostly. There are a couple questions that confused me slightly on the practice test, but I feel okay. I can't help but wonder if I'll get a score on the Accuplacer that will surprise me. Like a how-on-earth-did-I-do-that score. But I push it out of my mind. I'll get an average score... hopefully. My dad says he'll be praying for me. Kathryn's praying. And I've prayed. 'God, don't let the questions be totally confusing, but don't make them easy or anything. Help me.'
I'm in the testing room taking the college math Accuplacer, and I'm sort of panicking. I've forgotten how to do a lot of this. My heart pounds slow and I take a deep breath and send up another prayer. It takes a while, but I finish...in about the amount of time it took to take the English comprehension, sentence structure and elementary math combined--and by the way, it doesn't feel like elementary math. I could not see a fifth grader doing that. I didn't do anything even close to that in elementary. I answer the last question and it's a stab in the dark, because I haven't the first idea what a secosine is. Using logic, I take my best guess and print the test results. "Good job on the math," the proctor says, handing me the papers. I take the scores back to a college adviser to see what the next step is. "I've never seen anyone do that before," she remarks, looking through the scores. Never? I can't help but smile, but it takes me a little longer to realize. My prayers were answered. I didn't even think this could happen. It was a fantasy that I had, nothing more. But with God isn't anything possible? I ignored the signs. Opened every door. But I couldn't find what I searched for... The music pulses through the floor and the song fills the sanctuary. A loud voice catches my attention. Loud and completely tone-deaf. I glance over, curious and see a teen, maybe 18 or 19. He’s jumping and singing from the very depths of his soul. Completely out of tune, but the song rises from his toes and comes out in jubilant bubbles of adoration and worship for his king. He shouts it. It’s barely a song anymore. “You’re a good, good father. It’s who you are. And I’m loved by you. It’s who I am. It’s who I am. IT’S WHO I AM!” He’s got a smile on his face and he knows. He’s confident. That’s his identity. He’s loved.
If ever there were an amazing example of foreshadowing, Hugo would have to be number one. There are probably even instances that I didn't even notice, because I wasn't watching it fully. Foreshadow| verb: to give a suggestion of (something that has not yet happened) : to represent, indicate or typify beforehand: prefigure I'll give you a couple of examples from this movie and then maybe you can see what types of foreshadowing you can put in your story. So, here's the basic premise of Hugo. Hugo lives in a clock in a train station in London. His father has died and his drunk uncle has abandoned him after teaching him how to wind the clocks. His life's goal is to find out why his father died and he plans on doing that by fixing the automaton that his father never finished before he died. It's a writing automaton and he's convinced that the note it writes will be a message from his father. Foreshadowing example #2: Hugo is having a dream. He's walking next to the train tracks and on the slats he sees a key. And not just any key. It just so happens to be the key that operates the automaton that he's finally fixed. He jumps onto the tracks and is turning the key over and over and wondering what it's doing on the tracks and the tracks start shaking and the train is barreling toward him. Later, in real life, the automaton falls onto the tracks and the train is pulling in and Hugo jumps onto the tracks to retrieve it, the tracks shaking and the train barreling toward him. Foreshadowing can enrich your novel and add depth. It's also a pleasant surprise to re-read a book and look at those little tidbits and realize, "Oh, that's what they meant." "And I pray that we have a good month and week doing quizzing and family night...And thank you for dying on the cross. Amen."
Simplicity. Innocence. What we all had once upon a time. I'm listening to bedtime prayers and in their eyes, everything is so...simple. I'm sitting at a two person table across from Ella, notebook sprawled, pen poised, asking for brainstorm ideas. Sometimes the most simple ideas spark the most amazing ones. "So, what do you need help with?" Ella asks, looking all serious. "My character doesn't believe in God, at the moment and she's so stubborn." She takes a drink of her milkshake. "What if....what if you had someone tell her that God died for her and that if she believes in him then she'll have eternal life. And then she can say, 'Okay, I believe in God.'" She smiles, the whole stituation totally easy in her mind. It's that simple. My concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side for God is always right. For a review to an awesome Civil War book, click here. Masterful character development. It made me cry. And I don't like historical novels normally. Need I say more?
Extrapolation is used by scientists to predict an outcome of an experiment or when they get to conditions they can't test. For example, gas changes volume when the temperature changes, as long as the pressure is constant. In this example, say they ran a test on a random gas. This is by no means scientific and I am totally making up these figures. It's just an example. So say, at 0 degrees this gas occupies 1.5 liters. At -50 degrees it occupies 1.0 liters. At -100 degrees it occupies .5 liter and after that, they haven't gathered information. But, based on previous results, you can guess that -150 is going to be a little more than 0 liters (since you make it nothing.) See how that works? Using this method, scientists can hypothesize on many things that they can't recreate, based on previous data. Read my Good Friday post, here to understand what I'm going to be saying next. Once upon a time, the king of the world came down and was supposedly defeated. The world was in darkness and the people despaired. The veil in the tabernacle that seperated the holy place of God from the place where people were, but no one saw the sheer significance of that. All through the Sabbath, Christians everywhere, huddled in their houses, fearful that the same thing would happen to them, that they might be brutally murdered as well. Their hope was destroyed and they'd forgotten to look at the facts that had presented themselves through the past years. All the miracles he'd performed. How he'd been faithful throughout their whole time knowing him. They forgot their Messiah's promise, that he'd come back. Their days were filled with darkness, doubt and despair. (Did you notice the alliteration? I didn't even plan that.) And on Sunday morning, Jesus rose, victorious over Lucifer and over the grave, holding the keys to death, and they saw that their fear had been misplaced and Jesus had been faithful after all. Don't sit in doubt and darkness, believing God has forsaken you and smashed your hopes. If has been faithful over years, centuries, millenia, why won't he be faithful in your lives? He's made promises that he'll never leave or forsake you. If you're not hearing anything while you're trying to hear God, you're definitely not going to hear anything if you pull away. Look back over His promises. He's said his promises and you can see in the Bible, in your life, in other's lives, he's been faithful to fulfill what he's said. Extrapolate. I promised Ella I'd give her a post on my blog so that she could tell the world about her new bike. Here it is: My name is Ella Deherrera. I got a new bike a couple of days ago and I learned how to ride my bike without training wheels. I am so happy. Are you happy? Do you know the movie 'Frozen'? Because I have a new Elsa doll. The end. Ella is an aspiring writer, currently working on her story Once Upon A Dragon about two children named Sally and Bob, who escape from their cruel mistress and meet a dragon who tells them about their rightful throne. She's seven and lives with her family in Colorado. She enjoys playing with her dolls, drawing and surprising her sister with how stinkin' smart she is. I'm watching Anne of Green Gables and Gilbert said something that struck me as profound. You can mope and cry all you want, but it won't help you write a better novel. I once heard someone classify different types of writer's block. One of the ones that I frequently suffer from is Lazy Writer's Syndrome (LWS.)
And I apologize for neglecting my Easter post. I ran out of time and I'm not in a deep mood at the moment, which is the reason I'm not writing it right now. I will get to it, though, I promise. Happy Birthday, Dad! I love you so much and words can't even describe how much you mean to me. I could never have picked a better man to be my dad. I always feel safe when you're around and I know I can tell you anything and you'll let me cry on you shoulder whenever I'm having a hard day. You're a talented musician and I love curling up in a chair and listening to you playing your guitar in the other room. You're always trying to make me laugh and it works. Thanks for helping me brainstorming my story. You always get me thinking. (Even if you get hung up with Batman and the Joker on the lightrail...which totally doesn't fit my story...) I enjoy listening to you laugh when we're watching movies and I'm all cuddled up next to you.Thank you for providing for us. And sorry this isn't in the least bit as eloquent as I would have liked, but I was running out of time to write this. But I love you so much and I hope you have a great birthday. :) How do you manage to process such an exceptional story? How can the mortal brain even begin to understand a masterfully planned out saga written by the ultimate storyteller? What heart can accept that kind of love fully? Many, including myself, take the story for granted. That monumental act of love? Or can it even be described as love, because that word is, too, taken for granted. It's become so overused that it hardly carries meaning for us. With this one word we can describe our love for an article of clothing or for our favorite food to the unconditional love Christ portrayed by his sacrifice. Sometimes that image of Jesus hanging on a cross gets distorted in our minds. Sometimes when you hear that phrase 'Jesus on the cross,' you picture this cutsy Precious Moments Jesus. The cartoon of Jesus hanging on a crossbeam, a minimal amount of blood on his wrists and ankles. And the story becomes ordinary to you. This story you've heard over and over and over again. You become immune to its power. You've been numbed.
Just stop and think for a moment about the profound meaning behind this extraordinary true story. It doesn't start where might think, at Jesus birth. It doesn't even start at the beginning of time, but before then. When there was no world. When there was no stars or planets of a universe. Just God and his perfection and his angel armies. And they worshiped him. The most powerful angel, Lucifer, gathered one third of the angels and rebelled against God. He believed he should be in charge and so attempted to throw God down from his throne. He was banished from heaven and sent to dwell on earth. In time, God decided to create a masterpiece. He formed man, with the ability to think, discern and feel. The environment he designed was paradise, unshattered by anything evil or unpure. Lucifer, ever the one to try and destroy God's plan, tempted God's created and tainted the beautiful, perfect world. Time went on, and Lucifer continued to push the world closer and closer to destruction, relishing the power it gave him. Finally, God made laws for his people, to avoid the evils Lucifer plan. Since God could not dwell with evil, he gave his people a way to atone for their sins and be with him. Justice called that something blameless must die to make up for your sin. So, people regularly went to the temple to sacrifice pure, innocent animals to once again have fellowship with God. Years went on and the world got worse and God sent prophets who declared that one day there would be a messiah to save them. And finally, he did come, but not in the way everyone thought he would. People expected a king to come and victoriously claim the Jews and rescue them from the Romans. But he came in a stable to a young mother and only a select few knew of his birth. He grew and became a rabbi and had followers. No one had anyone speak about God the way he had, because even the law God had provided for his people had become different. People tended to focus on the actions, rather than God himself, and Jesus brought that out and taught about God's true nature. He never sinned. A perfect, blameless man. And no one expected him to die. He was arrested, beaten and crucified out of jealousy. The most horrible death, for the worst of criminals. And an innocent man was killed. Lucifer believed he was defeating God. Killing his only son. Corrupting the minds of the people to kill the Messiah. God knew, though, that in sending Jesus to the earth, he would act as the blameless lamb. The ultimate sacrifice to atone all sins and reconcile God's people with himself. To erase that barrier that was constantly erected and torn down by an animal's sacrifice and once again erected. It was finished. God turned his face away from his son, unable to be with sin. And the messiah died. The people's hope for a savior perished along with him. The world fell into darkness and Lucifer thought he had won. To be continued on Easter... How nerdily awesome is this? Words from the periodic table! Am I the only one who thinks this is totally beautiful?
Stop for a second and listen. Birds call, silver. Their wings catch wind and the swoop overhead creates wind. Leaves applaude the breeze. Can you hear it? Look around. Clouds swell purple and light erupts from breaks in shadow, outlining curves of fairytale rainbows. Can you see it? Lay on the grass. Let it make a pillow, soft, fresh and new. There's a cathedral built of stars. Jupiter forms the apex. The black canopy stretches dark. Stretch your fingers over the earth. Feel His pulse. Can you feel it? Do you hear his love song? All that beauty that God placed here as a token of how he loves you? He's weaving a sympohny of affection. A tapestry of love. He whispers through the trees. Carresses your fingertips. Paints a masterpiece. For you. The one who loves is Elohim, What do Finding Nemo, Spiderman and Maleficent have in common? I know, a total cliche to opening a blog post, but I couldn't help myself. So, think away readers, and contemplate my deep question... Hint: The title has something to do with it... Each of them have exceptional character motivation that we all can learn from. I'll make sure to warn you if there are any spoilers in case you haven't watched one of them. A couple of types of motivation for characters that are believable: 1. Fear, with a legitimate root. In Finding Nemo Marlin is afraid of two things. The ocean and losing his only family, his son, Nemo. Why? At the beginning of the movie in a prologue of sorts, Marlin is a newlywed moving into his new home with his wife, Coral, and his four-hundred-plus eggs. As they're watching their babies sleep, Coral remarks casually that she wants to name one of the fish Nemo. Mere minutes later, a barracuda attacks, knocking Marlin out. When he comes to, Coral and all of his children are gone, except for one egg that got knocked to the ocean floor and forgotten. And he names the fish Nemo. As a result, Marlin is overprotective of Nemo and doesn't let him do anything that could be possibly risky. 2. Being too sheltered: This one's also from Finding Nemo. His father's overprotectedness prompts Nemo to chafe under the short leash. After his dad yells at him and embarrasses him in front of his friends for almost doing something against what his father had taught him, he break the rules, resulting in him getting captured. 3. Revenge: Sometimes this can feel forced, unless you do it right. Maleficent does this incredibly well. Maleficent has been betrayed by the person that she thought was her true love. So, as a result she storms the castle that he lives in and casts a curse on his firstborn daughter, Aurora, that "before the sun sets on her sixteenth birthday, she'll prick her finger on a spinning wheel and fall into a sleep like death." 4. Power hungry: Again, be careful with this one. This can be super unbelieveable and cliche if the character doesn't have a good reason for wanting power. This one is again, excellently shown in Maleficent. Stefan meets Maleficent when they're both young and points out the castle that exists where he lives. "See that castle?" He says. "Someday I'm going to live there." Maleficent asks him where he lives now. He looks down for a second and finally admits, "A barn." After a bit more prompting she gets out of him that he's an orphan, and homeless, but someday he wants to rule. This later prompts him to betray Maleficent's trust in order to get the throne. 5. Something wakes them up: In Spider-Man, after Peter finally figures out about his powers, he intends to use them to get the attention of the girl he likes. He goes to a wrestling match with the hopes to win $3000 to buy a car that will impress his lady. He knows he can win. Right before he goes, his uncle pulls him aside and gives him a talk about using what you have to help people. "With great power comes great responsibility." Peter yells at his uncle to stop acting like he's his father and leaves. After the match the man refuses to pay him the amount he feels is due to him. "I fail to see how that became my problem," he says. "Now get out." So, Peter stalks out of the office. As he is walking away, a man walks into the office and holds the man at gunpoint, demanding all the money. The thief runs past Peter, and he has an opportunity to stop him, but he doesn't. Just lets him go. When the money man asks him why he didn't do anything to stop the thief, Peter simply says, "I fail to see how that became my problem." And he leaves. SPOILER: As he leaves the building, he sees a crowd of people and pushes through it. His Uncle Ben is on the sidewalk, bleeding from a wound in his chest. A man had shot him and stolen his car. Later Peter realizes that it was the theif that he had let pass at the wrestling match. If he had only stopped him....SPOILER END In the end, he remembers what his uncle had said, and begins to do things for people to help. I'd suggest watching these movies and noticing different character motivations. I haven't nearly covered all of them. Are there any movies you've seen that have exceptional character motivation? Her feet trip over the flowered carpet point, spin, leap. 'Tryna make the moment last.' Arms curved, toes pointed, she dances.
The ladybug tickles over his nose, and he scrunches his face, grinning. He's named it Nemo. I lead it into his cupped hands and it crawls up his arm and he giggles, begging me to get it before it goes up his shirt. Walking to bring Nemo home and he leans his face close, whispers, "We're bringing you home. I love you, Memo." And I want to freeze this moment before it disappears. 'Make it last for a hundred more years.' His training wheels churn the cool pavement and the wind rushes against us, blowing through hair and cooling hot faces. Beautifully strong. “I had my eyes closed,”he informs me later. I ask him why. He replies, matter-of-factly, “I was enjoying it.” Sometimes you just need to close your eyes and enjoy the wind. *Note: The songs used here are Tell the World by Lecrae and Hundred More Years by Francesca Battistelli What's the definition of hope? It's not, "I really hope my favorite team will win." Or, "I hope this restaurant is open."
Hope is like when you're scuba diving deep under water and your oxygen tube gets cut. You can see the surface of the water above you and you know you can get there and you kick off the bottom with this desperate need for air. You don't sit down and contemplate whether or not you should go to the surface. You have hope that you will get there in time. You need to get there in time. Think of it like this. You're in second grade. Your house is right across the street from your school. You're crossing the field to get home and bullies appear, circling you and pushing you around, calling you names. You're surrounded by sixth graders and you have no way out. What you don't know is that your dad has gotten home early for once and he's on the front porch and he sees you. And as you're thinking it's hopeless, you catch a glimpse of your dad running down the driveway across the street and into the field where he takes care of those bullies. And instead of telling you to suck it up and come home, he kneels down, wipes your tears and picks you up, carrying you home. You're never alone. Even if you can't see it, God is there, running to your rescue, even if you're too blinded by the punches and the shouting to see him, you can hope and trust that he will come and rescue you. Thank you to Ben Steward, the speaker of North Springs Alliance, today for inspiring this post. I'm giving you total credit for these stories, because you're the one who told them:) I wish words were like little toy guns. No sting. No hurt no one. Just a "bang, bang" rolling off your tongue. No smoke. No bullet. No kick from the trigger when you pull it. No pain. No damage done. Wish words were like little toy guns. Emma: If vegetables could eat things, would they be carnivores?
Me: What do you mean? Emma: Well, if they ate other vegetables wouldn't they be cannibals? Me: I suppose so. . . But maybe they could eat other vegetables that weren't directly related to them. Like, lettuce couldn't eat spinich or cabbage. Emma: But they're all still vegetables. Me: It's like me eating a cow. It's still a living, breathing thing, but I can eat it. Or like a cow eating a cat....or a horse. Emma: That gave me a bad image. What about brussle sprouts? Those are like mini cabbages. Me: That probably would be paired with the spinich and lettuce and cabbage. Emma: So potatoes could eat a tomato and stuff like that. But an red onion couldn't eat a green onion, or a yellow onion or a white onion. Or a leek. Me: Right. Emma: What would be at the top of the vegetable food chain then? Me: Probably something that wasn't directly related to anything so could eat anything. Emma: Like a tomato. Me: Or a . . . Emma: Artichokes. They're so weird that nothing is like them. Me: We really should go to bed. Emma: So, we've established this. Artichokes are at the top of the food chain. And to all a good night. That's Shakespeare, by the way. Me: That's actually Charles Dickens..........wait... that's actually Santa Clause. Ever have useless nonversations that you'd like to share? |
About Me!Hannah writes to satisfy her imagination. She's written six books so far--five of which need to be rewritten--and is working on a seventh. She ranges through a variety of genres, but favors contemporary YA, fixing broken characters. She wants to use her writing to change people and bring hope. She's currently going to college for Nursing and that takes up most of her writing time. She's a rather stereotypical writer, talking to imaginary friends, eavesdropping on people at the store, secretly being nosy, stashing herself away in her room with a paper and pen and chocolate and her teddy bear. She loves Jesus, the way the morning smells, her family of seven (four siblings), old movies, fairy tales, candles at night and helping people. She writes on another blog at nerdywriter.blogspot.com to hopefully build her chances of publication. My Author Site:Archives
December 2016
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